Scape Goat

I was flying over something but it was definitely not over the moon; the pack of chairs I landed into gave me an idea of what it was though..
I never really invested my time in learning how to fight; in fact I thought it was stupid; but at that moment all I did was regret embezzling my takwando lesson money..As he walked towards me all I did was glance in disbelief at the hand that just threw me…Talk about lance Armstrong….that dude’s arm was strong.. Well now I dint need a prophet to tell me that I was in for it today..
He cornered me rape style and started crying all over me; I never really understood what emotional pain meant but in my opinion only physical pain should warrant tears; and from d look of thing I was d only eligible candidate..
I was hard to cry but it was kinda obvious that I was not the actor in this Action I sharply  hustled some crocodile tears; infact I was impressed with my perfomance..
He finally found his wits and talked admits his tears..’Why’, ‘why did u sleep with her’ he chanted; normally I would have said ‘jamb question to wah endowed’ but seeing the situation of things I simply answered admits my own tears ‘It was not my fault’..
And true to wasn’t..I mean she was feeling the boy yea!!! and at my current age ‘don’t dull’ was my national anthem so I gave it to her lowkey..
She was what we called a free spirit a.k.a ‘slot’ so I dint really expect her 2 be an item..but as they say..behind every successful slot is a faithful moron..
At the rate at which his battle cry increased it was evident my pleas were falling on deaf ears; so I increased the intensity of my tears..
It was evident that wasn’t working either the moment the first punch landed on my face; then the second; then they kept coming..
I don’t know whether it’s because I have a big head or he was that good;because  his punch just had a way of locating my face..
I wasn’t in the right frame of mind but I could swear I heard him chanting Eji owuro(by shola allyson) while he was rendering the punches..I wanted to laugh out loud..but been that my face was in a very serious relationship with his fist..I could not even smile..

In no time the place ws packed up; In another second his brother was pulling him off from my body; My first instinct was 2 run..but I’d poured enough reps already so I just stayed and cried with as much swag as possible (real tears this  time)
He sharply narrated the whole story to his brother and immediately that one started crying to..; now I really wanted to run since that seemed like their cue for raining down punches..
Surprisingly he did not come towards me..he just took his brother and they both started heading away in tears..I mean talk about free madness..this should be part 4..
I stood up wondering how I was going to write my exam that semester since this dude just reduced my IQ by half..
‘You reaped the fruit of your labour’ the brother said ad mist tears as he walked away…I’m the lazy type so I don’t really know much about labour..but as much as child birth is concerned;I dint labour 4 this one at all..and I reaped this bountiful fruit of punches..
I could not help but wonder though what I would have reaped if I actually laboured for her…as I walked home thanking God I didn’t…. 😉

41 thoughts on “Scape Goat

  1. ayobami says:

    lmao!guess he shld av given yhu a few more punches.rili nyc stuff yhu got here n dis rocks!yaaay!!!!!!!!

  2. Matthiasuave says:

    Lmao!!! I hope tis just comedy, cos I’ld really like to your well designed face

  3. Matthiasuave says:
  4. sandie pandie says:

    This is a good one AY. Sincerely from the depths of my heart, its lovely. Keep it up.

  5. sandie pandie says:

    Lovely post!!! Made too much sense. I’m impressed.

  6. babaneyo says:

    ROTFLMAO! Mad funny post. This ikebe wan put you for wahala

  7. ato says:

    Lmao!!! Nice 1

  8. morayo says:

    Nyc 1 sweet…U rily r talented,kip up ? gud work…U rock!!!

  9. joel says:

    Makin sense mehn

  10. kay says:

    Write-up rated “Toh Bhadt”…buh nigguh if dis shit was real mhen u got served!…I’ve always known u were unlucky when it comes to female issues..:)..*cheers*

  11. buzbabe says:

    really nyc stuff…… lwtmb kip it up

  12. factor says:

    Nice post,very funny story,I expected d younger bro to pounce on u for scape goat remix,lol

  13. jaju says:

    Lmao!!!! Nice one bruv kip it up nxt wole soyinka

  14. Mowzies says:

    Confirm action yarns, I for lik make d tin happen for real life to you wale, make dat ur ajebota face turn kpako small. Hope to see more of this.Keep it up bro.

  15. Itunu says:

    Lemme try imagining U????? wiv a black eye…lmao

  16. precious says:

    Noice 1 kiddo. Like d imaginative depth..telling a long story short. Narrative toh behd. Keep’em coiming!

  17. .lol says:

    i can imagine U with a black eye Itunu. Very soon…lol

  18. Itunu says:

    Lemme try imagining U????? wiv a black eye…lmao! ?õõ? job bee!

  19. *cartier* says:

    Lwkmd! Thumbs up!
    @??? don’t think IT wrote this.

  20. pornjers says:

    ENDORSED*****RATED TOHBEDT…..****CERTIFIED GBAM*****……..dude ur OVERKILLIN mi wit ds……..UR D BEST……kip it up!!!!!!!

  21. Austin says:

    Thumbs up chief…dis 1s so tite…cheers

  22. Beesho says:

    Wale B, U????? don madd gaan…dis 1 make sense..ur big head, y punch no go locate am? Omo keep it up joor, I go help U????? broadcast am. Greet Itunu 4me oo.

  23. kew_tee says:

    Dts a gud one…thumbs up…me likey 🙂

  24. seyi.o says:

    Lmao…lovely piece..u murdered it brov…can’t wait to c more frm you..#confam

  25. Edwayne says:

    Confam…. Don’t dull. Hope the sex was worth it sha. Dat one self dey..”ThumbsUp”

  26. Edwayne says:

    Dis one u didn’t put d real ish hope u didn’t jst sleep off wiv her ooo. If na dat 1 u deserve more dan he gave you.

  27. U C4 says:

    Diz a crazy write up….plz write 4 9ja moviz….. Da rape waz wot da punch na… Luv diz

  28. leezee says:

    Dats wat ??U????? get 4 cheating on me dear…lmao..lovely write up…kip it up

  29. gbengz says:

    U see why u shud flee every appearance of evil. The next tym it might just be an anvil that will land on his face….pls sister make it easier 4 us oooo

  30. omothorlar says:

    Awwww…i L???

  31. tega says:

    Men ??A????? seriusly amazed at dis wale..nice

  32. Borlardae says:

    Nyc 1 brov…thumbs up

  33. Terdoh says:

    That was a mad write-up men. I hope the kpansh was worth the near-death experience. I love the way you started it. Sick

  34. Bee says:

    Erm..tank u vewi much 4 d comment y’all..come back dis sat 4 more..

  35. nihin says:

    Wale nice one abeg! Shi baba tight! Dey alryt!

  36. Bankey says:

    confam jor……..

  37. dem dem says:

    Roflmao! This is hillarious.

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