I specifically told OGA KILOME not to open the gate for her..infact I told him that she was a ritualist and all she wanted was to harvest his manhood…But I guess the only thing hausa men love more than their manhood is actually using it….He came to my window trying to explain himself,as usual I could not understand a sentence he made..I could only pick out the words kai shege crying disturbance..so I figured kai she was crying and he didn’t want 2 disturb my dad..
I’m yet to figure the relationship between tears and erection..but I could swear I saw his manhood  standing at attention..
I’d seen and ignored her calls and her messages saying ‘please pick my call..it’s important’…What else can be important 2 months after skin diving..I knew the risks of skin diving..so it didn’t take me time 2 start drowning in my sorrow…I took my time as I walked from my room to the sitting room..I mean what’s the use of rushing to the american embassy if your name is Osama bin laden…You’re just going to get bounced anyways..
My heart was racing so fast Usian bolt had nothing on it..I’d had pregnancy scares but this seemed different..It seemed real..
I thought severely within those few minutes and with each thought, came my father’s scary face..Finally he would have a good reason 2 disown me and turn me into his driver..On the other hand I felt pity for my mother ..All she was going to do was cry..I knew she could never disown me even if I begged for her to..and that made me really sad..My siblings were going to laugh their asses off..I wouldn’t blame them though..they warned me..but even if they didn’t..they were still going to laugh till their bellies tore..Everything seemed funny to them..Once we lost our uncle..and they laughed for like 2 days..I asked them what was funny..they said he died like a gangster..
True though, He died with weed in his mouth..but I didn’t see what was funny about that..
I finally got to the sitting room and found her pacing restlessly..Our eyes jammed almost immediately..OGA KILOME was not lying..She was really crying..’Have you told your parents’ I asked with all the remorse I could gather..’Told them about what’ she answered as she tried to wipe her tears..
Me; About the pregnancy nowHer; What pregnancy..Me; This is not the best time for sacarsimHer; are you on weed ..seriously what pregnancy..Luckily I was in the right frame of mind so I could see the clear picture on her face..she was not messing around..she really wasn’t pregnant.. 

I’d heard of sighs of relief..I never experienced one until then..It was so intense I felt light headed so I gently located the nearest sofa and sat on the arm rest..

I put my hand together on my face pope style..and gave thanks..I could hear her giggling..but I ignored..

Wow so you scare easily..she said admist smiles..I thought you were a Gee..’Well I thought so too’ I said with the biggest smile I could find..’So this was a prank..yeah’..’Dude I’m not that jobless’ she replied almost immediately..
Me; Please tell me you’re not HIV positiveHer; Are you sick..what’s your own with bad news sef..Me; It’s not my fault now..tears don’t exactly go with good news..Her: Tears of joy nko..Ode boy
Now I couldn’t help but smile..something about the way she insulted me tickled my fancy..
Me; Oya what’s the good news..
She smiled..scrambled for the nearest sofa and sat..then she smiled again..’I think I like you’ she mumbled’You say what now’ I replied in my fake british accent..I said I like you..she replied this time picking her words so that I won’t miss anything..Now no amount of worry could stop the smile developing on my face..In seconds I was grinning from ear to ear.. 

‘Wow’ I answered  admist smiles that almost turned into laughter..but as my smile grew bigger..her’s grew smaller..

‘So why the tears’..I asked still smiling..

‘I just thought it would make you take me seriously..but I guess it didn’t’..she said now with the straightest face she’d made all night.. I’ll see u later..she mumbled as she headed for the door..

I’ve never believed in love..infact I think its just an avenue to scam one another..But this felt right..It felt good..I wasn’t going to allow this one go..

‘Toyosi’..I called.. ‘Yep’..she answered as she turned to look at me..

‘Would you go out with me’ I continued still smiling..she smiled..it was pretty…she walked towards me..leaned over and kissed me..It was good..sorry..It was great..

I would love to..she said admist smiles..

Toyosi; lemme beta go before I get you in trouble

Me; yeah..so I’ll see u tomorrow?

Toyosi; yep

I escorted her 2 the door..we said our goodbyes..I headed toward my room smiling…my happiness escorted me there.. 🙂

At least amongst all the hate messages that would be on my phone in the morning..I’ll have one that would say ‘Morning love how was your night’ …

21 thoughts on “OGA KILOME

  1. daur says:


  2. hahahahahahahaaha! I love suspense! nice one + amongst all the hate messages…. you’re just a fish. looooool!

  3. kay says:

    TOYOSI!!!! Dude serzly y Toyosi?! Y not any oda basic name like Bimpe or Tolani???………………Well crazy write-up, dis most definitely has to put a smile on any reader’s face. Thumbs bro…kip dat shit oozing!…

  4. Bee says:

    @daur..tanks bruv..@sandie_pandie..lol..tanks..@kay..u get wahala..werin do toyosi na??..aniways sha..tanks bruv..

  5. Mowzies says:

    Nice. Very nice.

  6. jeolu says:

    lol…very cool write up

  7. tohceen says:

    hmmm…….i rilly like dis……specially :I’ve never believed in love..infact I think its just an avenue to scam one another..But this felt right..It felt good..I wasn’t going to allow this one go…………..nice one bee

  8. PEY says:

    this write up makes sense mehn…..

  9. fresh_child says:

    Go deeper fool … Deeper

  10. Eti Idemudia says:

    u guys had already gone as far as skin diving so how come her ‘liking’ u sounded new or exciting…like duh! she must like u if she lets u skin dive na *rme*…..nyc 1 jor, hi was hentatained

  11. Bee says:

    @moses,@jeolu,@tocheen and @pey..tanks..@fresh_child..lol..God wee punish u..@eti..lol..tanks 4 bustin my bubble..

  12. wadap08 says:

    Keep it up hommie..someday A????? gonna invest in your bookz

  13. abo says:

    Mehn….waleB why did u hv to pick that name. Thrz more to this I guess. Nywaiz d story is sickm lykt d suspense and d conclusion. Keep it up bruv

  14. factor says:

    Nice write up,pls don’t let @wadap08 invest in u o,dat wld be d beginning of failure

  15. TeeKay says:

    lol!!! This so nyce,it sound almost so riily….If it isn’t real self! Keep it going………….

  16. Moses, this is crazy. Love the suspense. (Next time, don’t skin-dive…hehe)

  17. nihin says:

    Wale! Ball jare! Nice one

  18. Beesho says:

    LOOL, nice 1, buh y toyosi naww? haa..wally B, am suspectin foul play oo

  19. ???? says:

    love the life in London.It contours a beautiful outline to embed a tiny loop into a layered ,I do not normally do that, but I hope that we will have a mutual hyperlink exchange!2

  20. Kew-tee says:

    Very nice 1

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