I ended the short relationship between the shower and my body, I turned around to get my towel but it wasn’t there..I smiled as I took a sneak peak outside the bathroom but it still wasn’t there…someone was definitely trying to be funny..
I Immediately came out of the bathroom with my right and left hands covering my manhood and my anus respectively as I jogged to my locker hoping for the best while expecting the worst
I reached there in due time to confirm my greatest fear..My clothes were gone..the locker wasn’t empty though a note sat exactly where my clothes were before I entered the shower..
I smiled as I picked the note but my countenance changed immediately I read the first sentence..
‘You just messed with the wrong girl You BASTARD’..
Shet! I exclaimed as I put my hand on my head africa magic style..I knew the sender alright and this was definitely not a joke this was as real as it got..
I spat out my drink immediately she uttered the phrase ‘Bee I need 30K’
‘For what nah’ I replied with so much disturbance on my face hoping she would tell me not to worry
Tiffany; I want to buy Brazilian weave-on
‘Hian that stuff is expensive nah’ I said almost in tears…’Why do you think Ronaldo Delima is on skodo’
Tiffany; See this boy ohh…wetin concern martin luther king with crown… And In fact I know it’s expensive that’s why I’m asking you for part of the money
Tiffany; Yes johr..it’s 50K’
I couldn’t help the tears from flowing down my cheeks now…I mean what better time to cry for the 20k she was going to request for later that week..
Tiffany; Are you crying??
Me; No there’s pepper in my eyes
Tiffany; That one is your business..when should I be expecting the cash
Me; Err I’m out of cash now
Tiffany; when has that ever stopped you..just steal from your dad nah
True that..giving her stolen cash from my father’s national treasure wasn’t news but for some reason I felt more foolish than I felt the second before she uttered the statement so I continued…
Me; I can’t
Tiffany; You say what??
Me; I said I can’t
‘But why now’ she asked like I was depriving her of her birth right
Me; I’m born again
Tiffany;Are you kidding me ??? We just had sex in your car
Me; Ehnn I’m not yet born again in that department
She seemed to have a problem with closing her mouth as she starred at me in shock..
‘Wow’ she finally said as she continued starring at me in disbelief..this was a first and I didn’t spare any effort in disvirgining her hopes..
Tiffany;Are you still going to drown
Me; No I’m going to swim
Tiffany; O okay Can I have your iPod then or are you born again in that department too??
I knew better than to answer the question so I stayed mute as I handed over the iPod…she on the other hand didn’t ..she hissed as she started to mumble
‘iPod that people are dashing their babes..me and you are sharing one..you should be ashamed of yourself..I’m sure it’s because of people like you MI sang one naira’..she ended rolling her eyes..
Like Frank Edoho was in front of me,my seat went hot immediately she uttered the statement..not like I’d not taken worse insults from her but I guess it wasn’t just her day…
‘Are you mad’ I lashed out as I stood in slow motion like a kid that just lost a million naira..in fact give me the i pod sef’ I continued..snatching it from her hand..
In another second I was up straight..then I started…
‘I want to use this opportunity to thank you for everything you’ve done in my life..me and my manhood thank you seriously..but we can’t continue like this so we’re also using this opportunity to break up with you..and ps; if you’re in serious need of an iPod you can ask MI for his own I’m sure he won’t mind’..
As usual I applied the full stop in my head as I ended my speech but unusually I noticed I was not at the fool’s stop..in fact I was far from it..the girl I expected to lash back at me was on her knees sobbing and begging me to take her back
Now I was the one unable to close my mouth..
Forgive my surprise but this girl ones slapped hot akara out of my mouth because she saw her friends from a distance..
With time she got really loud with her plea and as much as I would have loved to watch her that way all day, the attention she was creating was so much even 2shortz and brymo together couldn’t handle it so I started begging her to stand up..
After some seconds of her repeated refusal I gave up..even nigeria told us to rise O compatriots…I mean to serve nigeria is not by force now..
So I took my personal belonging and headed for the shower leaving there on her knees..
‘Well unlike you though’ the note continued..’I’m a little considerate.. I left your phone in fourth sink’
My legs went quicker than my eyes as I reached the sink before I finished reading the sentence…my phone was there alright but it was soaked in so much water the black had removed from the berry..
I sank gradually to the floor near the sink where my phone was doing the same as I finished the note ‘This is not the end you fool..remember I know where you live’ For obvious reasons her threat sent chills down my spine the same way it ran through the first time I saw her picture on my cousin’s phone….she was channeling so much smoke from her nose seeing the picture literally made me cough..
‘She’s a gang star O’ he warned as he gave me the pin..’But she dey knack sha’ he continued….I knew I was guilty of not heeding his warning but even superman would’ve done just same if you told him a girl was a sure lay even if you added that she had kryponite in her kpekus…
All the lights started going off gradually..the closing time was near..and since sleeping there was not an option I sharply picked a floater and made it fit around the lower part of my body.. It covered my manhood alright but it only covered a certain circumference of my anus..talk about half bread this was definitely better than none….
I braced myself and started running towards the gate…some lucky people were still around…I mean it’s not everyday you get to watch live porn..
‘Hey stop there that’s company property’ I heard as I finally made it out of the gate..I turned back and saw the guard..’Shet not again’ I exclaimed…
But it was the price I had to pay at least next time I planned on entering a relationship..I’ll definitely remember to fall for my type..