Alariwo Lifematics : Cookie or a Rookie

Ok so today’s post has been published before… but on the day it was published….our previous site( ) where it was published  crashed and so i decided that since it’s a lovely post and most people didn’t get to see it and contribute to it…..So here is the post enjoy… from our own Didi

[Turns on iPod]… #np ‘cater to u- destiny’s children ^_^’

Don’t get too excited,  I’m not distributing cookies. For the few minutes you’ll read this post, Cookie will mean: A lady that can cook. Was that a smirk? No. Ok, moving on…

It was a hectic day at work being his first day after his honeymoon coupled with the annoying traffic margarine on his way home, Bayo walks into his house to see his wife Audrey playing Diner dash. Immediately she sights him, she runs towards him, hugs and removes his jacket
“Cocopops hunnie, what will you like to eat?” She whispers
“You, babycakes” Bayo teases.

“Awww… You know, you can always have me but you need strength to go from 6 to 9”. [winks]

“I want anything called FOOD… hunnie, anything made by you”

Audrey runs into the kitchen and returns with a Zingbox from KFC.

Bayo eats it, looks up, and says “thanks for the snacks honey, can I have my food now?”

She stares at him, discombobulated.

“Don’t tell me that was my dinner?” Bayo says

She starts caressing him “err.. Yes baby, it was”.

Bayo screamed!!! “What the actual eff is this! I left you in this house doing nothing! I gave you money for foodstuff and you bring this nonsense to me?”

Audrey burst into tears.

He then remembered that while he was dating Audrey, she had always told him that she didn’t know how to cook because all her life she never had to.

He moved towards her, giving her arms a gentle squeeze, he said
“Well, you just have to go to a catering school”…

[Boring story. I know right? You get the message anyway.]

In this 21st century, I’ve discovered a lot of  ladies really don’t care about cooking.
Here are the reactions I got from some ladies;

@LowlaDee : if i have my way i wouldn’t cook….i like to cook for only myself…and at my time and pace….but when u just think of cooking more than d quantity you want you just lose motivation…..

@oluwatoni : I personally like and enjoy
cooking but really when you cook in large quantities you lose your appetite to even eat, and cooking sometimes is stressful and I wouldn’t mind if there are alternatives so that  I don’t have to do it everytime

@Lilmissdamie I don’t like cooking because I think food is boring

I learnt recently that an aunt of mine was sent out of her matrimonial home because she couldn’t cook. In the first few months of her marriage, she would call her friend to help her cook before her husband got back from work but after a while, the friend couldn’t keep up and her little secret was disclosed.

The Question Here is —-> Guys, will you Marry a girl that is a rookie in the cooking industry and/or isn’t interested in cooking ???

What about d wife of ur dreams? The one that stands by you, encourages you, advices you, supports ur decisions, the intellectual smart, beautiful sophisticated cook rookie. Will you abandon her 4 a nagging unsupportive wife that cooks pretty well?

Last sunday afternoon at home, we had some visitors who brought along a live chicken.
Later on, my mom said I and my brother had to kill it. I’m Personally scared of chickens [insert yimu];

“you better stop tweeting and learn how to kill a chicken” my brother shouted.

“Tell her o”, my mom echoed.

We’ve heard the saying, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”. Maids/mistresses are cooking their way into the men’s hearts. Its funny how delicious ‘wife-cooked food’ can preserve a marriage.

I plan to sign a pre nuptial agreement  stating that my husband will have to “pound all the poundables” and “kill all the killables” – chicken, dog. [Yes, dog.]
This is where the maid comes in anyway.

I recently listened to the song “ekaette get belle” and I noticed that his attraction to Ekaette emanated from the fact that she cooked very delicious ‘Edikang-ikong’ soup (#JustSoYouKnow I’m a specialist at that. Yes! Set that P!).

My Editor said he personally can’t marry a lady that can’t cook. Or better still he would marry a village girl as a second wife if perhaps he marries a lady who can’t cook and is not willing to learn.

Rookie or Cookie?

So Guys: do you want a Cookie or a Rookie?? Is cooking an important criteria for marrying a woman?

Ladies: Do u think there’s a problem with being a rookie at cooking?

Didi reporting for alariwo

7 thoughts on “Alariwo Lifematics : Cookie or a Rookie

  1. poetic nerve says:


  2. arichikunorikuto says:

    For me to marry a rookie, she’ll hv to be a hell of a tiger in bed to compensate…

  3. dante says:

    girls of today really don’t like cooking, dunno why. as for me, i cook very well, so if she can’t cook, thats her own biz.

  4. @Aniespixels says:

    Cookie all the way mehn…….will sort dat out during courtship …wot will all the POT GIFTS BE FOR? ehn?

  5. Ayob Alariwo says:

    @arichikunorikutobut 1st wat hell of a name is arichikunorikuto?? n Lmao!!! but if she can’t cook.. ow wud u even haff the energy to stand her on bed…. ?? it’s a 100% Cookie 4 me sha… 🙂

  6. ibetapassmynebo says:

    Lool nice
    If cooking will save her marriage then she should learn

  7. airleene says:

    well sed! al d sem guys should also learn to cook as well!!

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