Alariwo Poetry: Occurrence from a comment

Occurrence from a comment

By Mike Oluwatobi Ugbomah-onalo

They said I criticised,did I,
A shot from the last post to the front coast,
Remove the stick from your eye,
See as they made me the bull’s eye,
The head hit or,
The roots were the right hers floor,
Floor of the noise and the makers,
Telling me ta and adding a get,
Bending my neck with his fist,
My neck too short to let,
Woods and matchstick the next,
If I don’t rub the head of a lex,
Hitherto,he said my pen was drunk and driving,
Saying the pen dis a point,
Comma instead of fullstop,
now you miss the point,
Scolding My lines wearing pride like a crown,
My nerves aint moved by the frown,
This nerve is showing off lines like vein,
Still you feel the flow like rain,
The bliss and the bless,
Words flying without ness,
Testing the ill in the nest,
Break the pen and let the ink flow,
Never to wet your pad,
If the pen dies,the wrist lives,
Always in bow mode like banana leaves,
From it I make loyal tea,
Sending apollo gees to mend your hearts.

@PoeticNerve

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8 thoughts on “Alariwo Poetry: Occurrence from a comment

  1. playgirl says:

    I know the comment you’re talking about.. And this is supposed to be an apology letter? Get over urself man you’re acting proud!
    And still this your…”poetry” does not make sense, read it yourself. It has no connection to the readers whatsoever. People will comment and tell you “good write up”.
    I’m sorry to say, they will deceive you. Instead of writing a poetry and feeling big, go and apologise to the babe you put down publicly with her name on it. It would make our worlds ten times better than one post about bananas, tea and ink, and wrists. Thank you.

  2. @poeticnerve says:

    @ d first comment,lol

  3. ibetapassmynebo says:

    Hmmmm
    Nice!

  4. @poeticnerve says:

    @ READERS,u can read d last post on alariwo and d COMMENTS,d first line where I used “did I” is didi,the “head of a lex” is head of alex,there are so many other words twisted in there

  5. raphael says:

    if I am correct your poem has a touch of this praise of your skill in the artistry of writing. however, it is my belief that such poems should have a rhythm like flow that makes your reader bask in the glory of yourself and not feel the writer is egocentric and boring(mean no offence).

    As a personal view I believe every great work should have a tittle and I can’t find one for yours.

    But I loved your rhyme on the run on lines. Its quite beautiful and lastly let’s keep painting the world with our words. Hope my word aren’t offending. Ralph

  6. raphael says:

    @play girl

    If you ever understand a jerk about writing then you will understand that there is a difference between constructive criticism and insultive criticism I find yours insultive

    On whether the persona should apologise or not should not be your business after all that’s the path he has chosen and if you can’t contribute in making his writing better then I think you shouldn’t have read it in the 1st place

    People take time and effort to write and even if we will criticise we should bear that in mind. Your comments are meant to make his writing better not destroy his courage. May be you should write and I should comment too. By the way you should check you spellings again and your grammatical construction.

  7. @poeticnerve says:

    @raphel,this work wasn’t the piece I was suppose to post,an incident happened few days back,so I decided to write,which I did in less than a hour,concerning the title,”occurrence from a comment”,that’s d title and I jus wanted peeps that don’t av deep minds to b able to relate with it,cos I av so many twisted words that I jus played around with,I jus wanted some peeps 2 know,what writing means,the piece is a joke,anyway point noted sir,am so grateful,have learnt something new today,I wish deep minds like you visit the site more,even though this would be my last post 4 alariwo,was fired yesterday.lol

  8. @poeticnerve says:

    @ralph,dis piece is not abt ego or pride,its abt d last post on this blog and my comments,and ow am proud of my writing skills,that nobody can take away from me

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